Well, I'm feeling quite exhausted - tired out by the vigorous volleyball training (as usual) in my school a few hours earlier. Actually realized that our volleyball coach - "Ong", wasn't only a volleyball coach that yells at the players for fun.
Oh, right.
Actually, he does yell at us when we make mistakes - especially stupid ones, but well, who's complaining? By just a few weeks of training under the coaching of Ong, I've actually learnt and understood how cruel and how challenging the world could be. Of course - he isn't the person who makes my life hell, but the person that taught us all how hell is like.
Back to my point then, (originally planned to write about how he made us understood hell, but no thanks).
Criticism.
You see them all the time everywhere. Simon Cowell actually criticises people LIVE on TV (American Idol), and he doesn't care about the boos made by the audience towards him.
Some people might think that this is cruel and stupid, but it isn't the same for me - To me, Cowell was doing a saintly job that most people hate to do - to criticise people and make them improve.
What good is it to compliment people with absolutely no talent at all, while talking negatively behind his/her back?
Won't it be better to point out his/her mistakes to him/her, so that he'll/she'll (Duh, I'll just use "he" as a general term..) learn and improve?
Spend time wrongly complimenting people for the wrong things, and you'll end up ruining their future; Spend time pointing out mistakes to them, and you'll end up being their saviour of life.
Of course, I'm not actually asking all of you to fit criticism in every sentence that comes out of your mouths. No, I'm just asking you not to refrain from criticising when need arises.
Saaaay..
Situation:
Your friend composed and sang a song all by himself and asked you to give comments. To you, it's just an average song - not perfect, but not bad too.
Reaction 1:
"Wow, that song is absolutely fabulous! I bet if you compile an album, you'll get to the Top 10!"
Reaction 2:
"Good work on the song! Now you just have to edit the last verse of the song - make it higher by an octave, and increase the volume of the bass guitar and you're good to go!"
Reaction 3:
"It sounds like shit to me - the vocals get out of tune frequently, and I'm wondering who made the lyrics. Oh, is it you? I'm sorry then, but oh yeah, no offence dude, just don't send it to a publisher or something."
Which would most people prefer?
Which would YOU prefer?
About MY personal preference.. I'd pick Reaction 2.
I'd do exactly that, and I'd like to get that reaction if i was the "your-friend-the-composer".
But oh, if you're immune to negative criticism, and you'd like to improve, Reaction 3 might suit you. One to one's taste.
My exact point?
Have a mixture of criticism and encouragement in your comment(s) you make to others. You might disguise your criticism as an encouragement, or vice versa. Just make sure that you mean both of it.
Encouragement.
Encouragement requires sincere SUPPORT.
What good will it do if encouragement flows out of your mouth freely, effortlessly?
Your encouragement wouldn't encourage people at all.
When somebody confides a problem to you -
By giving sincere encouragement, you are actually showing people that you understand their problems, and you're willing to help. It shows that you listened to them when they confided in you, and you'd always be there for them. That's what a sincere encouragement can do.
The thing is, the difference between a sincere encouragement and a false-hearted encouragement is just a thin line..
2) "Cmon, go for it! I know you can win, seriously!" -----
Can you figure out the difference?
It's actually possible, but normally people won't figure it out.
Encouragement - when you get it from others, ponder about it for a moment - is the encouragement sincere or false-hearted?
Both ways, it should prove helpful to you as it strengthens your morale - but yet, its usually inadvisable to follow a false-hearted encouragement or comment, as it might lead you wrong.
On the "giving" side, though, would you give sincere encouragements?
Or do encouragements come from you like free unwanted sweets?
And.. Did you manage to find the difference between 1 and 2? They're different, trust me.
Summary:
Positive Criticism + Sincere Encouragement = A great help to the person who hears it.
"Compassion without wisdom is as dangerous as wisdom without compassion."
-Quoted from robin's karma.
The end.
...
...
It's really the end, duh.
*P/S: Got this quote from a site of my friend's mother - guess teachers should see this.
"A teacher must know his stuff.
He must know the pupils he intends to stuff.
Above all, he must stuff them artistically."
2 comments:
That's why I rarely give compliments. Only on occasions that you really deserve it.
wee..I know the difference between 1 & 2, but which one do you shows sincere??
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